Decisions per year related to family
Decisions EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.
7 Life-Changing Benefits of Pre-Deciding
Eliminates Decision Fatigue
Conserve precious brainpower for things that actually matter by making decisions in advance.
Reduces Guilt
Your no becomes a matter of policy, not a rejection of someone.
Creates Boundaries That Stick
Boundaries set in calm moments become your personal operating system.
Saves Time
Your answer is ready before the question is even asked.
Increases Confidence
Build trust with yourself every time you honor your pre-decisions.
Models Healthy Boundaries
Show your children what healthy boundaries look like in action.
Makes Space for What Matters
Every no creates space for what’s truly important.
How to Start Pre-Deciding Today
| Area of Life | Questions to Ask Yourself | Example Pre-Decision |
|---|---|---|
| Social Commitments | Does this align with my current priorities? | “I don’t attend weeknight events during the school year.” |
| Family Calendar | Does this serve our family’s values? | “We keep Sundays completely free for family time.” |
| Work/Volunteer | Is this truly my responsibility? | “I don’t volunteer more than once per quarter.” |
| Home Management | Is this worth my time and energy? | “I don’t fold kids’ socks—they go in a basket unmatched.” |
| Digital Life | Does this enhance or drain my mental health? | “I don’t check email after 8 PM.” |
5 Quick-Start Pre-Decisions
The Phone Boundary
“I don’t answer calls during dinner or after 8 PM.”
The Volunteer Filter
“I only say yes to volunteer opportunities that either use my professional skills or bring me genuine joy.”
The Social Script
“I need to check our family calendar before committing” (even if you already know the answer is no).
The Self-Care Standard
“I don’t skip my workout/meditation/reading time unless there’s a genuine emergency.”
The Purchase Pause
“I wait 24 hours before buying anything non-essential over $50.”
How to Communicate Your Pre-Decisions
State what you DO do, not just what you DON’T do.
Your Pre-Decision Starter Kit
Ready to reclaim your sanity? Here’s your 3-step action plan:
Identify Your Pain Points
Write down three areas where you consistently feel overwhelmed or resentful.
Create Your First Three Pre-Decisions
Turn those pain points into clear, simple policies for yourself.
Practice Your Responses
Rehearse how you’ll communicate these boundaries when tested.
Remember This
Your time and energy are finite resources. Pre-deciding helps ensure you’re spending them on what truly matters to you.
THE ARTICLE
Ever found yourself saying yes to the school bake sale, three playdates, and hosting book club—all in the same week? Then collapsed in tears Sunday night wondering how you’ll manage it all?
You’re not alone.
What if I told you there’s a magical little tool that could hand you back hours of your week and pounds of mental weight off your shoulders?
It’s called pre-deciding, and it might just save your sanity.
The Mom Overwhelm Is Real
Remember when saying yes felt good?
Before kids, saying yes meant adventure and opportunity.
Now? It often means another commitment squeezed into your already impossible schedule.
The average mom makes over 35,000 decisions per year related to her family alone—that’s nearly 100 decisions EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.
No wonder you’re exhausted.
What Is Pre-Deciding (And Why Should You Care)?
Pre-deciding is exactly what it sounds like: making decisions in advance about what you will and won’t do.
It means establishing clear boundaries before you’re put on the spot.
It’s your permission slip to say no without the guilt.
When you pre-decide, you’re not scrambling to make good choices in the moment when your willpower is low and your people-pleasing is high.
7 Life-Changing Benefits of Pre-Deciding
1. Eliminates Decision Fatigue
Every decision you make depletes your mental energy.
By pre-deciding, you conserve that precious brainpower for things that actually matter.
2. Reduces Guilt
When you’ve already decided what’s a “no,” you don’t waste energy feeling bad about it.
Your no becomes a matter of policy, not a rejection of someone.
3. Creates Boundaries That Stick
Boundaries set in calm moments are easier to maintain in stressful ones.
They become your personal operating system, not just occasional reactions.
4. Saves Time
No more agonizing over whether to volunteer for that committee or attend that optional meeting.
Your answer is ready before the question is even asked.
5. Increases Confidence
Every time you honor your pre-decisions, you build trust with yourself.
Your self-respect grows with each boundary honored.
6. Models Healthy Boundaries for Your Kids
Your children are watching how you treat yourself.
Show them what healthy boundaries look like in action.
7. Makes Space for What Actually Matters
Every no to something unessential creates space for what’s truly important.
Your yeses become more meaningful when they’re less frequent.
How to Start Pre-Deciding Today
| Area of Life | Questions to Ask Yourself | Example Pre-Decision |
|---|---|---|
| Social Commitments | Does this align with my current priorities? | “I don’t attend weeknight events during the school year.” |
| Family Calendar | Does this serve our family’s values? | “We keep Sundays completely free for family time.” |
| Work/Volunteer | Is this truly my responsibility? | “I don’t volunteer more than once per quarter.” |
| Home Management | Is this worth my time and energy? | “I don’t fold kids’ socks—they go in a basket unmatched.” |
| Digital Life | Does this enhance or drain my mental health? | “I don’t check email after 8 PM.” |
5 Quick-Start Pre-Decisions That Will Change Your Life
- The Phone Boundary: “I don’t answer calls during dinner or after 8 PM.”
- The Volunteer Filter: “I only say yes to volunteer opportunities that either use my professional skills or bring me genuine joy.”
- The Social Script: “I need to check our family calendar before committing” (even if you already know the answer is no).
- The Self-Care Standard: “I don’t skip my workout/meditation/reading time unless there’s a genuine emergency.”
- The Purchases Pause: “I wait 24 hours before buying anything non-essential over $50.”
But What About Flexibility?
Pre-deciding doesn’t mean becoming rigid or inflexible.
It means intentionally choosing your exceptions rather than letting exceptions become the rule.
The occasional thoughtful “yes” to something outside your boundaries can be delightful precisely because it’s rare.
How to Communicate Your Pre-Decisions (Without Sounding Like a Jerk)
Instead of: “I don’t do school parties.” Try: “I’ve reserved my volunteer energy for the reading program this year.”
Instead of: “I don’t have people over on weeknights.” Try: “Weekends work best for our family to host. How about Saturday afternoon?”
Instead of: “I don’t attend those meetings.” Try: “I’ve structured my schedule to focus on X priorities right now.”
The key is stating what you DO do, not just what you DON’T do.
Your Pre-Decision Starter Kit
Ready to reclaim your sanity? Here’s your 3-step action plan:
Step 1: Identify Your Pain Points
Write down three areas where you consistently feel overwhelmed or resentful. These are prime candidates for pre-deciding.
Step 2: Create Your First Three Pre-Decisions
Turn those pain points into clear, simple policies for yourself.
Step 3: Practice Your Responses
Rehearse how you’ll communicate these boundaries when tested (because they will be).
Remember This
Every time you say yes to something, you’re saying no to something else.
That “something else” might be your peace of mind, your health, or time with your children.
Your time and energy are finite resources. Pre-deciding helps ensure you’re spending them on what truly matters to you.
Your Turn!
What’s one area of your life that needs a good pre-decision boundary? Share in the comments below!
Because a mom with strong boundaries isn’t being selfish—she’s being sustainable.
And we need you in this for the long haul.